It is your first day of classes, and you are excited to go and meet many new people. You've already made many friends... Right? Before leaving for college you broke up with your then girlfriend for some BS reason because deep down you knew you could do better, and you knew that college is the perfect time to find someone else. At first, you're thrilled to be free; you no longer need to respond every 5 minutes to texts, you don't feel pressure if you forget anything, you don't feel bad for not taking her out to dinner consistently, and you don't feel like a jerk if you aren't able to call her every day. Then a couple of months go by, and you realize you kind of miss that feeling... the feeling that someone else cares about you in an intimate and personal way, a way that no family member or friend ever could. When you get to college, all your friends and family tell you not to get into a relationship, to focus on your studies, and if you get into a couple of flings, that's okay. You go out to the bars a few times and hookup with a bunch of girls before you realize that you don't want that. You want to be able to text her the next morning and feel that emotional connection. You acknowledge that you don't care about the sex or the hookups nearly as much as you care about emotion. Because you are a teenage boy, a freshman in college, who is more than the stereotype that everyone puts out for you. You want to care about someone, and hookups at bars just aren't filling that hole. You make the awful decision that you are going to start looking for a girlfriend.
It's Friday night, and all your boys are going out to the hookup bar... the bar where you tried to fill that empty hole in your chest but just couldn't. You don't want another random hookup, but you can't leave your boys alone. Once you get to the bar, some pretty girl sipping on her vodka soda keeps looking at you. Maybe it's the crisp white button down you decided to wear out, maybe it's your beautiful facial features (yes you are an Adonis), or maybe it's the determination and drive in your eyes that say I know what I want, I want a woman that is mine and mine alone. She sees you as an alpha regardless of why it is. You start talking to her, trying to get to know her and telling your whole life story (maybe you shouldn't have had that extra shot of Svedka). She's completely shocked, why would this random guy come to talk to me and actually care about more than just my boobs. After A LOT of talking... she ends up kissing you first. This might completely throw you off, but don't worry when you aren't pushy and creepy girls actually desire you more! Who would've thought... You take her back to your room, and all you can think about is the fact that you haven't gotten any action since you broke up with your ex before leaving for college. Then BAM it hits you! You realize that even if she has had only one drink, she can still accuse you of anything from sexual harassment to rape. So instead of thinking with your willy, you hold back and tell her you'll text her tomorrow. You actually do, and before you know it, you are on the verge of having a girlfriend. You're so excited about her, not only because it's the first girl you've dated (well kind of) in months, but also she's hot! You tell your roommate, you call your dad, you let everyone know how happy you are. Then one week later she texts you "I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking, I just got to college, and I really need to focus on myself before getting into a relationship." Ouch, that sucks. But you have even more drive now... She must've been one of the crazies right? Let's just go back out there, rinse and repeat.
You do the exact same thing, and this time you find yourself a girl that is even hotter, you want to make her jealous. But now you hold back, you're still hurting, and it keeps you humble. You take this new girl out on a couple of dates, and eventually, maybe you ask her to be your girlfriend. Your stomach drops as she spends what feels like hours thinking about it. When she says yes, you feel like the happiest man on earth. You again tell everyone you know, even your grandparents about this stunning girl you found. Then a couple weeks go by, and one day the texting slows down, almost completely gone. Is this a test? Is she trying to see if you're clingy or needy? Well crap, maybe you are... she is hot right? So, you end up texting her too much, and the next day she dumps you. Basically saying the same thing as the first girl. She should be expelled for plagiarizing. Now you're pissed, you are no longer sad or depressed, you're legitimately angry. You put on your finest shirt, do your hair, and wear that super sexy cologne that isn't Axe. Again you find yourself a girl, and this one is SOOO into you, you can't believe how clingy she is. At first, you are cool with being single, you've accepted that girls don't know what they want, and you are okay with going back to the hookup game. You could care less if she dates you... but then, like a spider preparing her web, she traps you, she tells you how much she needs you in her life, asks you to never leave her, maybe she even says I love you... and all of a sudden you start to develop feelings for this broad. You don't know why, she isn't nearly as pretty as the other two girls, at most she's a 5, but you can't help feel affection towards the girl who fixed you when you were broken. You do nothing wrong, you buy her flowers, you give her space when she needs it, and you protect her when she needs protecting. Then BAM! Again you're heartbroken, this one said the same exact thing as the other two. You begin to think that all these girls are just friends with one another and that they're all playing with your mind.
You aren't angry, you aren't sad, you are happy. Why? Why the hell are you happy? Well think about it like this... you were dating an unattractive, clingy, needy, and obviously crazy girl, and she was the one to break up with you... Is this a shot at your ego? Yes. Does this make you feel like you aren't good enough? Yes. But when it comes down to it, you were probably going to break up with her at some point if she was truly that crazy deep down. And who knows, what if she keyed your car or spread an awful rumor about your Johnson being too small. Consider this a gift from the man upstairs. God has given you a taste of what a relationship could be, then just before you start losing feelings for her, she breaks up with you, so you don't have to. Now you are in full hookup mode. You're like a machine, a sex-driven hookup machine. You go out, wearing your super fresh shirt, your hair all done up, wearing your nicest shoes. Then UGHHH, it happens again. You find some pretty girl at the bar who you decide to text the next morning... and of course she texts back. You were that funny, cute, handsome guy at the bar wearing super clean clothes with a great smile and minty fresh breath. Now you start dating again, but this time you are just waiting on the day, the day when she texts you, or calls you, or tells you in person that she can't be in a relationship right now. But you're going to have to wait for that day. Because whenever you think you know what a girl is thinking, you thought wrong. Best thing to do is have a message saved in your notes that you can text her when she breaks up with you. The ole "Okay that's cool" always seems to work. Many of these girls that leave you, probably have the mentality that if they could get such a great guy in freshman year, imagine what they could get by senior year. That mentality is as dumb as it gets. Eventually, they will realize that they couldn't do any better and they might even try to get back with you. This is the part where you tell them to listen to "Cry Me a River" by Michael Bublé. They blew their chances, and now it's time for you to be in charge. When it comes down to it, 99.99% of freshmen girls are not looking to seriously date a guy. If you find that 0.01% you better hold on to her like a kite in the wind. Not too much because if you're clingy, then she's gonna leave you... well, she probably will anyways. Best to just leave your phone in your dorm so you can't get their number in the first place. Never forget, if a girl is more than a 7 crazy, and/or less than a 7 attractiveness, stay far, far away. When a girl fixes a broken man, he will love her forever. When a man fixes a broken girl, she will leave him for someone else. Don't be the man who always fixes the girl. And for God's sake stop trying to date in freshman year.
